Life moved faster as I was approaching high school with a bit more time in Eagle Point under my belt, I was no longer helpless concerning where I was. Other people were on the move and were leaving the universe I inhabited.

As time passed, I stayed put. If I wasn't at Stanley's, I was at the Kanes.

I was standing on my own two feet, because I had no other option. Kerry and I were moving closer. I was looking for ways to spend more time with him. I was at the Kanes every weekend, and I learned more about alpacas.

I considered myself lucky to be where I was while I was there. My life changed according to what I wanted for myself. I came and went from Stanley's with barely a ripple in the force. School was OK but my mind was full of Kerry and not so much on my school work. I was passing.

The day after Karl and I did our thing at the pond, Kerry met me in Stanley's driveway.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I said.

We walked to school. We didn't hold hands but I wanted to.

I'd drawn the lines between myself and Karl's giving me the experience I was anxious to have. While not knowing why Karl participated, I was glad he did. It helped me define myself and accept that I liked boys while thinking little about girls, except when Rachael was telling me about the boys she interviewed.

I saw Karl as being like a bucket of my favorite ice cream. I happily ate and ate for as long as he let me. I still liked ice cream but not as much as I once did.

Walking with Kerry Kane was what I wanted to be doing. There was no question my feelings for Kerry were nothing like ice cream. He was a solid friend who would never melt away. I believed in Kerry and my feelings for him. I had no reason to think I might be making a mistake falling in love with him. Even if it was, I fell in love with him anyway.

It wasn't a new feeling. He'd become my Price Charming the day we met, and we'd been friends ever since. I needed to be with someone who was steady and true. I was alone for too long and now I wasn't alone. Life was very good.

Today, I was better able to understand why I felt the way I did.

Kerry was as innocent as I was. I didn't need to have my first sexual experiences with the boy I loved. If was sex in our future, I was better prepared to offer him my love in a way that made him feel loved. I wouldn't bungle it because I knew something about what I was doing.

That afternoon, we stopped where we started the day. I was all smiles because I wanted to be right where I was. Kerry had to go home to do chores.

"Guess I'll see you tomorrow," I said.

"Yeah, guess so," Kerry said. "Want to stay over this weekend?"

"At your house?" I asked, surprised by the invitation.

"Where else would I ask you to stay?" Kerry wanted to know.

"Sorry. Brain doesn't always process things quickly. Sure. I'd like that."

"Cool," he said. "We'll have fun."

I watched him walking toward his house.

I wondered if I'd see Karl.

"Mom," I said.

"Uh huh," she said, looking over the paper at me.

"I'm staying over at Kerry's this weekend."

"Uh huh," she said, going back to her paper.

It had been a big week, as weeks went. I lost my cherry and I was spending my first night away from home. In reality, it was two nights. I went to the Kanes with Kerry after school, and I stayed until Sunday night. When I went into Stanley's house, I expected to be met with questions when I got home.

No one was home. I went up to my room and went to bed.

* * * * *

Rachael told me I wasn't a boy. I was becoming a man. How she knew this stuff, I'll never know, but she said that boys used to go to work at twelve. You were a child until one day you went to work and began earning a living.

"What is called adolescents didn't exist before the 20th Century was well underway. All boys worked with their fathers and brothers while the wife and the sisters cooked, cleaned, and took care of the men. Most people lived on farms."

This kind of information was mind boggling but short lived as Rachael neared graduation day. She announced, "Once I graduate, I intend to marry Benton Crumble."

It was the first of big moves that came one after another while I stayed put.

Rachael did marry Benton Crumble.

It sounded like a fancy dessert when I said the words, 'Rachael Crunch Crumble. Stanley was all smiles at the wedding. He approved of Benton. I doubt if Rachael's experiment with boys made it into conversation between the Crumbles.

I remember asking Rachael if she interviewed Benton.

She said, "Benton's not a boy I want to interview. He's the kind of guy a girl wants to marry."

Stanley was delighted when Wendy went to Eugene to go to work at Oregon State. What he didn't know, Wendy was living in a dorm room with her boyfriend. He had long hair and a beard and was studying quantum physics. Clare went to Boston College on a scholarship the year after Wendy moved out.

Somewhere amongst all the moving everyone was doing, I moved into Kerry's room at the Kane house. They were short handed with Karl and Kasey gone, and I happened to be there every weekend anyway.

I just stopped going back to Stanley's house at night.

* * * * *

As true blue as I saw Kerry, the whole story was nothing like I thought. I'd been with Karl and I often woke up embarrassed because my erection was sticking out of the top of my underwear and in the crack of Kerry's ass.

I spent a lot of time pretending I didn't react to Kerry the way I did. As we moved from middle school to high school, I slept with Kerry every night.

One night, and I don't remember which night, but it wasn't too long after I moved into Kerry's bedroom. Kenny came in and got in the bed with Kerry in the middle of this boy sandwich.

"Kenny!" I have a guest.

"Quit with that. Karl says he's cool. I want to do what we do," Kenny said. "I'm tired of hiding out in Kelly's room."

"What did Karl say?" I asked alarmed.

"You're cool. That means we should be able to do what we do with you here. He likes it when I blow him. He liked it better when Karl was inside him."

"Kenny!" Kerry squawked.

"He's cool. Karl's gone. Josh is here every night. You wouldn't mind helping him out, would you, Josh?"

"Kenny!"

"Where's the lube?" Kenny asked.

"Bottom drawer," Kerry said.

"Let's get naked," Kenny said.

Kenny was naked.

Kerry yanked off his underwear.

When in Rome, do as the Roman's do. I don't know if they got naked. I did.

Kerry reached back and applied lube to me. His hand was electric and I was fighting to stay in control. It was a bit abrupt and as I slipped my dick into Kerry, the warmth the constriction furnished held me like a fine glove. Each inch had me shivering and feeling dizzy, I eased deeper as his ass seemed to give itself to me as I gasped.

"Oh, Man," I said.

"You're doing fine," Kerry said, like a boy who knew. "That is so nice, Josh. I dreamed of you being inside of me."

I could see Kenny swallowing Kerry as he came up and went back down on him. As good as my imagination was, I couldn't imagine this. I couldn't imagine how nice Kerry was.

That pretty much ended any idea of a good night's sleep at the Kanes. No one had to tell me that I'd fallen into the clover. It was spring and the clover was lush and green. No one told me there may be a winter of discontent in my future.

Life was too good to have any negative thoughts.

As people came and went, I stayed in Kerry's bed each night. We were going nowhere, and we took each other to heights previously unknown.

Each morning I woke up with Kerry in my arms. Each night I went to sleep in the midst of passion. I'd wake up soon enough to go one more time. We were one with the world and in our love for each other.

I'd come a long way from the little boy who moved when his mother moved. The Kanes accepted me at their table and were happy to have the labor that filled the void left by Karl and Kasey. It was a good life and I belonged there. I was as much a part of the alpaca operation as anyone else. I liked the work, and I loved Kerry, although, Kenny was too lusty for his own good.

Karl came with his wife one day. I was leaning on the fence looking out at Kerry, who was taking treats to the alpacas that stood still for it. I felt someone's arm gliding onto my shoulder. It was Karl.

"Hi, Josh. I never said goodbye. Hello," he said in a jumble of words.

"Hello. How's married life treating you?"

"It's fine. I like being on my own."

"With your wife, you mean," I said, putting things into perspective.

"Yeah, with my wife," he said, leaning next to me. "You and Kerry OK."

"Better than OK. You did it with your brother?" I asked, unable to keep my mouth shut.

"Seemed like the thing to do at the time. It's no big deal, Josh. It solved a problem we were all going to experience anyway."

"Oh, well, excuse me. I thought you were pretty thrilled with me."

Karl looked at me. He had his hands folded in front of him as he leaned on the fence next to where I was standing.

"I have done a lot of screwing. Girls, boys, if you stood still long enough, I was working on getting my dick into you. I was always horny. You, Josh, were as good as anyone I was with. When I did you, I realized that day, this is a need I have. I'll probably always want to fuck guys. I thought I'd get over it. You made me realize I never will. I got married. I stay close to home, but one day I'm going to meet another boy who looks as hot as you look, and I'm going to respond the way I responded to you. I'd rather not fuck boys, but I think I always will."

"I don't get that. How can you be with a woman and still want a man?"

"I don't understand either. It is the way it is. It's the call of the wild."

The call of the wild. That said it all. It's our nature. It's what we do. By that time I knew neither Kerry and I were as innocent as we felt like we were. We'd both worked on doing things that kept us from being horny all the time.

"You were my first boy, Karl. I can't tell you what you did for me."

"Did to you. I'd like to say if I knew you were a virgin, I wouldn't have done what I did, but I can't say that. I did what I did and I loved it. You are a stud. I know you brushed it off when I told you that, but Josh, you are a stud."

"I like to think there's more to what I feel for Kerry than that," I said.

"Don't under estimate being a stud. It's what guys are looking for, Josh."

"You were so good that day. I dreamed about you, Karl Kane. I'm not sorry you got my cherry. I can't help you with what to do about what you feel. I love Kerry, but I'm glad you took me where you did. Thank you for that," I said,

"Be careful. We Kanes are a strange breed," he said.

"What's that mean?" I asked.

"Just be careful. I got to go. My wife will be looking for me," Karl said.

I watched him go fully clothed this time. He was far more interesting when he was naked.

As warnings went, it was subtle. I was once more at a loss.

How could anyone think with Karl Kane around?

I looked toward Kerry. He had an alpaca eating out of his hand. He was growing and maturing as we worked our way through high school.

* * * * *

I remembered when he used to walk me home. For a long time, we held hands while we walked. It felt good being that close to a boy I liked.

One day a car full of boys came by, and the boys yelled, "Faggots" at us.

One boy was halfway out of the passenger side window giving us the finger.

He was cute. As irate as he seemed, the car kept moving away from us.

We stood watching them for a minute. We started walking again, when we did, we were no longer holding hands. We didn't hold hands very often after that. I felt like they stole something from us when they drove past.

Why did they care if there was love in the air and in our hearts?

We had joy in our hearts, but we were afraid to hold hands where we could be seen after that. I wondered who else thought Kerry and I were faggots?

We were just holding hands. Why did anyone care if we held hands?

How could loving someone be dangerous?

What made people mean and angry? How could people hate love?

I loved being with Kerry and he loved being with me. It was good.


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On to Chapter Nine
"Reality Bites"

Back to Chapter Seven
"The Pond"

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