Walking into Clouds by Rick Beck Forward An Introduction On to Chapter One Chapter Index Rick Beck Home Page High School Sexual Situations Rated Mature 18+ Proudly presented by The Tarheel Writer - On the Web since 24 February 2003. Celebrating 21 Years on the Internet! Tarheel Home Page |
I'm Cletus Thomas, Clete. Clete is a family name. I'm a Jr. My father was a Jr. I don't know what my grandfather was. They called him Big Clete, but he died before I was old enough to call him that. I'm telling you this because I've got to start somewhere.
Some of us come out easy and others of us come out hard. One thing is for sure, one day it's time to either come out or we never do. When I decided to come out, I knew to gut it out and take that first step into that which I knew almost nothing about.
How could I? My parents weren't going to explain it to me. My friends aren't ready to hear it, oh yeah, I can hear one of them saying, oh yeah, I thought of sucking a cock once.'
No, you got to figure it out on your own, when your time comes, and live in a place like Aurora.
Using innate instinct, I took what I knew and formed a plan based on a lot of assumptions, adding my particular brand of logic to lead me to those like me. I wasn't sure of what I was looking for. Oh, I may have some idea, but not really. I made up my mind to find a guide. I was looking for someone who had some idea of where I was going and who I might like to find at the end of my search.
In the shadows and on the outskirts of the primary search area, I was sure I'd encounter intriguing possibilities. It could even relieve the ache in my crotch. It would be close and the excitement, passion, and desire could lead me down the wrong street and into a situation I think I have under control, I'm really not ready for, but once I walk down there looking, I knew to be prepared for what I find and being prepared to bail. I wasn't ready but I knew I could always bluff my way along. Once passion and desire mingle in a mixture more intoxicating than any booze, more powerful than any aphrodisiac, it can seem as if you've walked into a cloud, being consumed by the night, suspended in time. Not so much part of the event as an observer of it, one step away from the fall, but buoyed by the excitement of what's just ahead.
So it was for me and I am sure you can't say for sure you've found it, but you've found something that has yanked you to attention. It might seem like what you came to find, because you are unable to let it go, the needing being far more potent than your ability to resist.
You've reached a line that once crossed will forever separate you from polite company and society in general, but you know you can't go back. You know what you are.
This is the story of how I reached that line and what I did when I got there. It's probably different for each of us but the motivation and destination leads us into the shadow lands where we find the road to the rest of our life.
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On to Chapter One
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