Mama stood at the stove stirring her gravy. The kitchen door opened and Ivan followed Clay into Mama's kitchen.

Mama turned around and her hand came up to her mouth.

"Oh my, Ivan. You're finally home."

Without giving any thought to it, Mama moved toward the door to embrace Ivan. He'd been a member of the family for years.

Ivan didn't know how to react. Mama had never greeted him with a hug before. He returned the sentiment as Clay watched, realizing the same thing Ivan realized. Not only was Ivan getting a hug, he was getting it before Mama hugged him.

"You boys are just in time. I'm running late, but Father is running a bit late tonight. You both look ... look ... so clean. My word, you must have spent hours in the shower to have such a clean glow about you."

"Nothing like a shower to get you ready for dinner, Mama," Clay told his mother as he blushed because of the hour they spent in the shower, unable to let one another go.

"I'm home, Mother," came a loud voice from the dining room.

"Oh, John, come see who just came in."

"My word. Ivan," John Olson said. "How are you? It's nice to see you. Well, Clayton, you're glowing. Of course you are, Ivan's home."

Ivan and Clay's father shook hands.

"And what's for dinner tonight, Mother?"

"Lamb chops, green beans, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes and a garden salad to start you out. I'm just getting the gravy smooth. I'll put it on the table as soon as you are ready, Father."

"Wonderful. I'm starving. A few extra minutes at work and my stomach is growling. I don't recall it doing that for some time."

"I've got just the cure, John. Go sit down and I'll bring dinner to you," Mama said. "Boys, go sit down. I can handle this end."

When Mama came in and saw the new seating arrangement, Ivan sitting next to John and Clay sitting next to her. It threw her off. It was the opposite of the way they'd been seated for years. She took a second look before going back for the rest of the food.

What Mama didn't see, the left handed Ivan, and the right handed Clay were holding hands under the dinner table. They needed to stay in contact with each other. Mama wouldn't notice that. It wasn't something her God, as well as her, wouldn't understand.

The lamb chops were exquisite. The green beans were right out of Mama's garden and they were seasoned with a juicy ham hock. The biscuits were so fluffy, they could have floated away, except for all the country butter Clay slathered on his.

What Mama didn't grow or whip up herself came from Piggly Wiggly and the Framer's Market, where she found the country butter at one of the many stands and picked up fresh veggies that she didn't grow herself. Mama only bought the best food for her family, and she knew where to get it.

"This is the best meal I've had in months," Ivan bragged. "I have dreams about your cooking, Mama. I dreamed so often that I was seated at this table, enjoying one of your wonderful dinners. It's even better when I'm not dreaming."

"My word," Mama said. "I'm only too happy to feed you as often as you want to come sit at my table, Ivan. It's so nice having you home. Clay said you were in Asia. So far away. I hope you plan to stay home for a while. I'll put some meat on those bones if you do. You've lost some weight."

"I hope he's going to stay too, Mama. I'd hate to think what might happen to him if he doesn't. I mean I'd like it if he stayed home for a few years or decades for that matter."

Ivan smiled at Mama, and Clay squeezed his lover's hand.

"I'm not likely to leave any time soon, if ever," Ivan said. "I value my life."

Mama looked perplexed. She knew there were things being said that had a meaning beyond her comprehension.

John understood perfectly. Clay's father noticed the new seating arrangement too, only he noticed something Mama wouldn't think to look for. This seating arrangement allowed the two to hold hands while eating.

He didn't look under the table, but he didn't need to look to know what was obvious. He appreciated that Ivan ate with his left hand and Clay with his right. He remembered when he and his Mother couldn't stand being separated, even at her mother's mother's dinner table.

Not only did the meal suit Ivan, but it did something that agreed with his desire to be home and stay home for the rest of his life. Not only did he feel at home at the Olson's table, it made him feel like he was home and doing things he could only do at home.

When they finished eating, Clay's father spoke up while Mama cleared the table.

"Would you boys like to take some brandy with me?"

This was an honor at the Olson house, and the two of them together had only once before been invited for the ceremony that included a small glass of brandy in John Olson's study. Clay sat in on the ceremony when Harry, Popov, or someone he knew well was invited, but only once when he and Ivan were invited together.

They sat among the books and keepsakes his father collected. John went straight to the table where the glasses and brandy were kept. When he turned back toward them, he had three glasses of brandy on a silver tray.

He stopped in front of Ivan and let him take a glass. He moved in front of Clay for him to take his glass, and he set the tray back where it came from and he turned with the third glass held high.

"To love. There is no cure for true love, and it never dies."

"To love," Ivan said, tossing the drink back and ignoring the burn and the craving that was alive inside of him.

Ivan was an alcoholic. He knew it, but he also knew that drinking was a choice for him. He could take a drink and ignore the urge to take another, because it wasn't the next drink that was the problem. It was the ten drinks that followed the next drink. If he took a second drink, and he never did, because he was an alcoholic.

There was motivation that stopped him from taking a second drink. He'd lost ten years of his life because he took to drinking after his brother went MIA in Vietnam. He drank and he dreamed he could go to get his brother. It wasn't a dream that made sense, but he was drinking enough to believe he could do anything.

It cost him ten years that he could have spent with Clay and that he could have spent with his son as he grew. It was because of alcohol that he ended up in the hands of the Company men, and they'd forced him into servitude again.

For this reasons Ivan only took one drink and never two, although John rarely offered a second glass of brandy.

Ivan was home. He intended to stay there this time.

*****

They swung their hands as they walked toward Ivan's, once they left the Conservancy house. They were more than halfway to Ivan's when Ivan had an idea.

"I want to swim. I haven't been swimming since I got home. I want to feel the Gulf's waters. I want to taste the salt in my mouth."

They stopped walking and started to undress. They ran into the water still holding hands. Once it was up to their waist, they dove into the Gulf's pleasant slow rolling surf.

After standing up, they embraced and kissed. Ivan held Clay away and he looked at him.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

"You might have mentioned it once."

They embraced and kissed, and kissed and embraced. Their bodies were held close together. They kissed and hugged, hugged and kissed. They ran out of the surf and fell onto the sand. They rolled and kissed, kissed and rolled. They ran back into the Gulf to rinse off, and running back out to fall on the sand and do it all over again.

This time it became a little more serious. They'd been excited by being together and they made love. It wasn't like they hadn't been making love all along, since they arrived at Ivan's.

Now, they made love on the beach next to the Gulf of Mexico. It was an excellent place to make love, except maybe for the sand. It got into places they didn't know were places, until the sand got there.

They were fat and sassy after one of Mama's sumptuous meals. The most they could do while eating was hold hands. They figured out how to accomplish that, but it had been more than two hours since they were in the shower together, and that meant it was time for love. Holding hands was nice if you couldn't get naked, but they could and they did, once they were halfway back to Ivan's house. Being together was its own aphrodisiac for these two lovers in love. Stopping to kiss was as natural as breathing, and once they began kissing, they couldn't stop. Who wanted to stop? They were virile young men in love. There was no stopping them.

Stripping naked and running into the Gulf was invigorating, to say the least. The beach was cool and inviting, the Gulf was even cooler, but not too cool. There was nothing cooler than making hot passionate love, and being two lusty young men, why not make love every chance you get?

They made love, dashing into the Gulf afterward, and they dashed back to do it all over again. They'd been repeating themselves for a couple of days now, and neither of them was about to cry uncle. No, there was no crying as long as these two could stay together.

Even with their dashes into the surf, they never quite rinsed off all the sand, and the Gulf of Mexico was a salty body of water, and that created something else that got on their skin, and it didn't rinse off. More like, when they rinsed the sand off, they accumulated salt to take its place.

As they ran together, back into the Gulf for the fourth or fifth time, an idea came to Clay.

"We could go to your house and rinse off in the shower. We'll never get rid of the sand by running into the Gulf," Clay said.

"Why didn't I think of that. I knew there was some way to stop wasting all that time rinsing off. It we go to our house to shower, then we can use the big feather bed to make love. I love that feather bed."

"And I love you, stud. I love you."

They sealed it with a kiss, grabbed their clothes that were now equally sandy, and they ran to the house, and up the stairs. They carried their clothes this time, and deposited them in the hamper, before turning on the shower, and kissing some more.

After spending another hour in the shower, they headed for the big feather bed, after drying off. There wasn't as much sand in the big feather bed. They took to holding each other close, and they kissed as they held on. For a while, they didn't need to make love. They needed to hold on, but making love didn't jump into their heads as the thing to do.

At that time of night, the heat in the bedroom had come down to a tolerable level, but even if it had still been hot, they'd have needed to hold on. They were both a little apprehensive about the future. Clay thought they probably weren't out of the woods yet. They'd gone through a lot of trouble to get a hold on Ivan again. He didn't like it that people like that could do such a thing. It wasn't right. He never wanted Ivan threatened again, or taken away from him.

Ivan wasn't convinced either. There was that call to land in Honolulu, and he took it seriously. Why they hadn't been waiting in Tampa when he landed, he didn't know. That's why he didn't give Clay a heads up on him being on his way back. He didn't know he'd be able to see Clay before they took him again.

They both fell asleep having the exact same thoughts. For now, they were holding onto each other, but for how long?

They didn't sleep through the night. When one woke up to take a pee, the other one went with him. Once back in the big feather bed, Clay rested the back of his head against Ivan's chest. Ivan let his arm rest across Clay's chest.

"Have we ever made love under the stars?" Clay asked.

"I don't remember it if we did. This is a first, but we never had a time when we couldn't leave each other alone for two days before. We sort of fell in love before we knew what was going on, and the last time I came home, there was too much frost for any love making."

Clay chuckled.

"I suppose not. I've never realized how much I would miss you, until you were gone. It was bad, Ivan. I never want to be away from you again. I mean it. I can't go through this again."

"I've got a campground to run, and you've got to save the oceans, the seas, and all there within."

"Sounds kind of biblical when you put it that way," Clay said. "I know we can't be in sight of each other all the time, but I need to keep you in sight for a while longer. Then, as long as I know I can get to you, when I need to get to you, I'll be OK. Just not yet."

"When you're at the Conservancy, or even out in the Gulf, I'll be at the shop. All you need to do is come to me, but I need to take over and give Tag a break for a while. He's been doing everything for months. He knows I'm home and I know he's waiting for me to show up and take over for a few weeks. However long he needs."

It was still a little stuffy in the bedroom, and they went out to sit in the wicker chairs on the deck. They held hands of course. They marveled at the night sky and the sound of the surf washing ashore. Slowly the night sounds became louder and more persistent.

"How many people are lucky enough to have a place like this to live?" Ivan asked. "The world can be an incredibly beautiful place."

"It can," Clay said. "It's my job to witness the beauty, the sounds, the smells, and it's my job to protect the earth."

"It's an important job, Clay. Few people take that responsibility."

The house next to the river that sat on the Gulf of Mexico had always been a refuge, a home, a place where peace lived and tranquility mingled with wildlife and strange vegetation that didn't grow everywhere. There was no place like it, and they were lucky enough to have it to themselves and the privacy it furnished."

It cooled off while they were at dinner, and it cooled even more after their roll in the sand. The water temperature had been perfect, and the air felt good on their naked skin. The house was still warm once they were home. The bedroom did warm back up, once they got serious about being in bed together.

The deck was wonderful even in the heat of summer. They might sleep out on the deck during the hottest weather. Sitting out there, when they weren't tired enough to go to sleep, but too tired to get it up, it was a place it took no effort to be.

"It would be perfect if Dylan was here. I can't understand why we haven't heard something about him coming home. They've been to Guam. That leaves a reef west of Guam for the next stop. I talked to him a week ago, once he got to Guam," Clay said.

"I talked to him Saturday night. I wished him happy birthday." "You didn't. How did you talk to him?"

"The plane I flew home on passed right over the Horizon."

"You're kidding me?"

"Nope. Honest injun. I wished our kid happy birthday."

"I was worried because he wasn't with anyone in the family on his birthday, and you flew right over him. Makes me feel better."

"Him too," Ivan said. "He thought it was you, but he recognized my voice right away. He was rather dazzled by the call. He sounded excited. I told him I'd be home when he got there."

"That would make him happy. He was angry with you. You did what you told him you wouldn't do, and he didn't like it a little."

"He was worried about me. He thought I might not come back. That's why I asked to fly over the Horizon. That and because it was his birthday. Just an accident it was his birthday, but I felt good once I talked to him," Ivan said.

It was late, but they'd slept late that morning. The night was as clear as night could get. They sat holding hands and enjoying the night. There were a million times a million stars. There was a slight breeze that felt good. Few things had been just right for too long. They both felt as though the universe was aligned properly at last. There were no words to describe it, but they knew it felt right. Since Ivan came home five years before, they'd been together. Not being together was all wrong. Being together was all right.

"Dinner was nice," Clay said. "My mother is a wonderful cook."

"Being at Mama's table made me feel like I was really home, babe. I love Asian food, but there's nothing like one of Mama's meals to make me feel like I'm home."

"Oh, I've been making love to you for two days, and it's Mama's table that makes you feel like you're home?"

Ivan laughed. Clay laughed too.

Clay lifted their hands. He kissed the back of Ivan's hand. His heart fluttered.

"I love you so much," Clay said.

"Talk is cheap, babe. Don't tell me. Show me."

Clay laughed.

"I'm afraid I can't get it up. I'm beat. I've reached my limit."

"Glad to hear it. My dick is sore. I don't think I could get it up even for you, babe."

"I love you so much, Ivan."

"You're repeating yourself."

"I love you so much. I love you so much. I love you so much."

They might have finally had enough sex for a few hours, but their lips worked fine, and they used them on each other. One kiss lead to another, another, and more after that.

They held each other after falling into the big feather bed."

The white curtains billowed out into the bedroom. The next thing Clay knew, it was daylight. Clay had blinked awake first. It had begun to heat up, but it wasn't hot in the bedroom for a change. Perhaps the summer heat had broken and nights would start to get cooler.

Clay still had Ivan in his arms, and Ivan's arms were around him. They'd fallen asleep that way and now Clay was awake, luxuriating in his lover's arms. He wasn't thinking about their love. He wasn't thinking about making love. He was thinking about where they could go to escape the reach of the people who kept coming after Ivan.

He'd give Harry McCallister an ultimatum. 'Put an end to it now, or I'm moving Ivan and Dylan to somewhere no one can find us.'

He'd been thinking about it since Ivan was arrested on bogus charges. People with that kind of power would always be dangerous to them. He no longer carried about doing the Conservancy's research. He didn't care about being a marine biologist for the first time since becoming one.

The last few months without Ivan, not knowing if Ivan would ever come home, taught him a valuable lesson. Nothing was more important than being with Ivan. What he needed to do to prevent a recurrence of Ivan being taken away from him again, he'd do.

He didn't need anything as much as he needed Ivan. They'd talk about it. Ivan would need to leave everything behind him too, but if it meant never dealing with men who could threaten him, it was worth any price they needed to pay. Peace of mind was worth any price they needed to pay to have it.

Clay would confront Harry when he was home on August recess. They'd reached the end of the line if he couldn't stop them from coming after Ivan again. He'd had enough. No one should live with that kind of threat hanging over their head. Clay couldn't live that way any longer.

"A penny for your thoughts," Ivan said, snuggling up as close to Clay as he could get.

"You wouldn't want to know what I'm thinking right this minute. I don't want to need to think about what's on my mind right now."

"I don't like that sound in your voice, babe. Don't tell me I'm in the doghouse again. What did I do?"

"Not you. Harry McCallister."

"I feel sorry for the senator," Ivan said. "He hired the team that brought me home. Can't we give the senator a break this once?"

"For how long, Ivan. You're here for now. How long do we have before those people come after you again? They wanted to take you off the plane in Honolulu, remember? Who do you think it was?"

"They didn't come after me in Tampa. If they were going to come after me, they'd have been waiting for the plane to land in Tampa. If they intended to come after me, that's when I expected to see them," Ivan said. "They weren't there. Has to have something to do with the senator. He's the only one with the reach to call off the dogs."

"All true, Ivan, but you aren't safe until those people are ready to leave you alone. We have no idea how long they'll leave you alone. They saw to it you were charged with the murder of a man who they sent here to do who knows what to you."

"Don't remind me. I've been in Cambodia for so long, I forgot about Mason," Ivan said. "Angus knew who killed Mason, but nothing was done about it. I suppose those charges could come back."

"We've got to think about an alternate plan. If there is the slightest chance they'll come for you again, I want to be able to get in the car and disappear with you and Dylan. We'll make a new start somewhere else. We'll go to a place where they'll never find you."

"That costs money. You want to leave your parents, Lucy? I don't see you leaving your family, Clay. You need to think this through."

"Ivan, you are my only concern. I'll move if we need to move to keep you out of their hands. I've got plenty of money. My salary goes straight into my bank account. I live at home and Harry pays for everything I do. He pays me an obscene amount of money and I've hardly touched in in fifteen years. I have money, Ivan."

"Makes me pretty clever for falling in love with you, babe."

"This isn't a joking matter. I'm serious. I won't have it."

"But they wanted me to get to Ken Ho. That didn't work out. I think they might be through with me. I haven't checked my bank account yet, but the amount they promised for my services was $25,000. We were supposed to be there until August, but I wasn't the one that got run out of Cambodia."

"Even though you went over to the enemy?"

"They don't know I went willingly. They don't think in terms of friendship and loyalty. The only thing people like that are loyal to is the mission. Everyone is expendable to accomplish the mission. I was coerced into being there, and I was taken by force when Ken Ho sent his men for me. I didn't break the contract. They did when they flew out of Cambodia without me. I'm still there as far as they know."

"They tried to force the plane you were on to land in Honolulu?"

"They did, didn't they? Maybe it wasn't me they wanted to take off that plane," Ivan said.

"If you believe that, I've got a swamp I'll sell you cheap. Those people knew who was on that plane and they were after you, Ivan."

"They obviously knew I was on the plane? How did they know?"

"They ran your handlers out of town. That doesn't mean there weren't other people in on the business they were trying to do, Ivan."

"They do have a long reach," Ivan said. "It could be as simple as them wanting to debrief me about what happened and why I ended up on a plane that was leased to the Minute Men. That might be what they want to know about. I'm of no value to them as far as Ken Ho is concerned. He knows their play and he check mated them. They can't make another run at him. It would cause such an international incident. They wouldn't risk it. They've been caught with their hands in the cookie jar already. Anything happens to the general, they're it."

"Don't forget, Mason became expendable?"

"You think they killed their own asset?" Ivan asked. "Angus never said that. He knew who killed Mason and he had motive, means and opportunity to do the deed."

"And how fast did they pack him up and move him out of reach so no one could get at the truth?"

"You think he was an asset?" Ivan asked.

"That or a schmuck they used like they use you. They'll do anything to get what they set out to get. You know that, Ivan."

"I remember. I'd think after this time around, they'd be a bit reluctant to come after me again. Harry had to call them off between Honolulu and Tampa. Who else has that kind of muscle?"

"What I told him he had to do was get you home and make sure you aren't bothered again. Bob Alexander told me he'd get you home and he'd make sure you weren't bothered, but I don't know Bob Alexander, and maybe he can and maybe he can't do what he says."

"He runs the Minute Men. I met John Carl. He talked about Bob wanting him to see to it I got home safe and sound."

"He told me he'd make sure you stayed home. John Carl and Bob Alexander are a couple. He made that clear when they were here at the same time. Bob came to reassure me it would work out fine."

"John Carl was built like a brick shithouse. I'd never figure him for a man who loves another man," Ivan said.

"Bob is built just like John Carl. Look at yourself. Look at me. Who is going to think we're a couple? You can't know what is going on inside of anyone. There is no telling what anyone has on his mind, unless he tells you, and if he tells you, you have no way of knowing he's telling the truth or a version he wants you to believe. You can't know. How do you know I really love you? Maybe I'm playing you."

Ivan laughed.

"Honey Child, if you ain't crazy about me, you deserve an Academy Award. If you're faking it, keep on keeping on, babe. Because you made a believer out of me."

"Well, maybe true love is obvious to the lovers, but not everyone is straight with their lover. There are people who will lie about anything," Clay said. "I could tell you I didn't love you, but you know better. Most people in love have no reason to lie. They're too happy they are in love."

"I get all that. I just wouldn't have thought John Carl was ..."

"He's only done half the job, but it's not up to Bob to keep you home. It's up to Harry to see to it you aren't bothered again. If he can't do that, he'll be looking for a new marine biologist. I've made up my mind, Ivan. It's all or nothing at all."

"He won't like that, Clay. You're responsible for everything he does. You're the one who put the Conservancy on the map. It's your research that created the environmental senator. You're made Harry the darling of environmentalist and his name a household name."

"If he does what I asked him to do, he'll not have a worry in the world. I'll keep doing what I've been doing, but if he doesn't, he'll wish he did."

"If we did move and disappear out in the country somewhere, you think I wouldn't be looking over my shoulder waiting for them to find where I am? You forget, they had the sheriff and Federal Marshals doing their leg work, not to mention the FBI took me out of the jail here and took me to Tampa. It's a lot of eyes looking for us, babe."

"Better to have them looking and not knowing where you are. The CIA isn't supposed to be operating inside the US," Clay said.

"You really think a law is going to stop ruthless people? They pick what laws they obey and which they'll ignore. The law is no help with people who have unlimited power."

Clay leaned back against the pillows, not wanting to move. Ivan lay beside him, holding Clay close.

Both of them were thinking now. The mad dash passionate reunion had cooled a tad. Neither wanted to be out of sight of the other for any length of time.

Being together, touching, was important to them. The constant mad passionate sex was no longer necessary. Even though neither of them had to have the other right that minute, the desire hadn't gone away, but all things in moderation came to mind, even if moderation didn't enter the picture on the third day they were together again.

*****

"I hate to be the one to break up this party, but I need to go to the shop and talk to Tag. Tell him to go home and stay there for as long as he likes, with pay. I'll never be able to repay him."

"He's a keeper, that's for certain. He slept at the shop. He took care of everything. I spent a little time at the shop while you were gone, and I need to go get some paperwork done before Harry gets home. He'll want to read all my reports. He's going to wonder why there are so few," Clay said.

"Harry knows what you spent your time worrying about. He'll be happy that he doesn't need to hear you bitch about me all the time."

"We can drive to the Conservancy house and have breakfast," Clay said.

"Count me in on that idea. I'm hungry again. We haven't done anything. I don't know why I have such an appetite."

Clay laughed.