Tarheel Writer - Bricks and Musings 2006

Bricks & Musings 2006
General Writer Spouting off

There is always something to comment about and nothing is off the table. Sometimes, I just gotta get up on my little soapbox and pour my heart out. It is always interesting to look back at what I've written in the past. Feel free to comment. [email protected]
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The Tarheel Writer - On the Web since 24 February 2003. Celebrating 21 Years on the Internet!

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Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 12:45AM with cloudy skies and 61 degrees
    I'm freakin' goin' insane here! Good God Almighty, why have You heaped so much trauma, pressure, suspense, pressure, hurt, pressure and did I mention all the pressure You're putting on me? Aaaaaaaargh! That felt good. Just to scream out all my frustration into the cool night air.
    Quite a bit of shit is going on right now. I know, I know ... why do you want to read about all the shit going on in my life? Well, maybe, we can commiserate together? We'll just heap our troubles into one giant pile and set the whole damn thing on fire. Sounds like an good idea to me? Got a match?
    Money is the root of all evil. And it's the source of a lot of the frustration we, as residents of earth, endure. We seem to never have enough. Just another hundred here and we'll be alright. Oh, okay, just another dollar here and we'll be alright. Bitch bitch bitch, yeah, well, get over it. I like to get it off my shoulders.
    Sometimes it seems that everyone has their hand out just waiting for me to bless them with cold hard cash. If it's not the telephone company, it's the insurance company or the car payment people or the credit card people ... etc. We work our collective asses off to garner as much cash as we can and turn around to face all those people with their hands out. In it comes and out it goes ... faster and faster. Somebody hand me the brakes!
    Fuck it! I mean the money and all that. There's a whole lot more to cause frustration and pressure on our lives than that. I can hear your mind working. Going over the list of crap we have to deal with. The mom that's demanding more and more of our time ... the lover ... (partner, life-mate, significant other, husband ... and good God almighty ... boyfriend!) ... roommate, "friend, " and whatever else we can come up with, that has the wildest excuses for not having sex, the daughter that needs to "borrow" just $30 to get her by and her sister that needs just $75 to get her by. Ooops, I'm back on money. Sorry 'bout that.
    Let's focus on the other things ... the things we have control over ... like ... like ... my mind's a blank. Damnit! What do we have control over? What do we really have say over? Actually ... a lot.
    Ask me to list the things we have control over and, honestly, I draw a blank, but I know they're there. I guess it boils down to the power of positive thinking. I've always been one of those "the glass is half full" as opposed to "the glass is half empty" type of person. There is always a silver lining behind the dark cloud. Now, this is coming from someone that's almost a half century old.
    I find myself facing the day that I will become 50. That seems sooo old ... wrinkly ... pale and wheezing for breath. But that's not me. I'm still the person who thinks about sex all the time, haphazardly throws back shooters, thinks about sex all the time, worries about what other people think about me, thinks about sex all the time, speeds recklessly through traffic, thinks about sex all the time, looks forward to the next chapter of a story, thinks about sex all the time, checks the caller ID before answering the phone, thinks about sex all the time, hates my brother with all my heart, thinks about sex all the time, drinks entirely too much, thinks about sex all the time, attends funerals of fathers of friends, thinks about sex all the time, checks the obits in the local paper hoping not to see friends, but instead seeing the parents of friends, thinks about sex all the time ... thinks about sex all the time ... I guess I'm scared that one day I'll wake up and it won't work anymore.
    Time passes by so slooooow when we're young, but the older we get, the faster the years pass by. If you're young and reading this, savor the time you have. Before you know it, you'll be waking up to your 30th, then 40th and then your 50th birthday ... and you'll be wondering, just as I am ... where did all the time go?
    I had a lover when I was, well, younger. He just, this year, turned 30. The thing is, it was his birthday that made me feel older, not mine. I can still remember the smooth, youthful skin, the feel of his hardness against my own. I can remember the smell of the hot tub as I first took him. It was a time that I remember with great fondness and my heart still holds a place for him even though he has gone on to other ... pursuits.
    It's the bottle of wine that has my lip so loose this evening, but at the same time, they say the bottle let's one reveal thy true self. And I guess that I am revealing my true self here amidst these ramblings.

Monday, November 6, 2006 - 10:45PM with partly cloudy skies and 47 degrees
    Last week I was in the sun and fun of Florida moving the sailboat from West Palm Beach back to the Keys. I don't think I have ever been in rougher weather. As we went out of Lake Worth Inlet, the waves were crashing over the bow! The boat's almost 40 feet long, so that's saying something. The wind was from the east at 20 to 25 and the seas were at least 4 to 6 feet. Once we were out of the inlet, we turned right and headed south, so the wind was on our beam ... the wind was broadside to the boat. We cracked the jib to about three quarters, put two reefs in the main and spilled it out quite a bit. That made things a bit more comfortable. Then the rain squawls started. We must have gone through at least a half dozen. At times it was like standing under a shower head with the water pounding down on your head. Then, just past Fort Lauderdale, the wind died. I mean it flat out died. We had to motor the rest of the way to Miami. After a very expensive overnight stay at Miami Beach Marina, we headed out for the Keys on the Intracoastal Waterway. Of course, the wind was on our nose, so we had to motor all the way. All in all, it was a good trip. I got a suntan, got some experience in rough weather, got to eat lots of fresh seafood and got a break from work.
    Speaking of work, things are picking up 'round here. I'm starting to make some "real" money ... finally. After having to basically start over once I moved, things are starting to gel. That's a good thing. I'm taking on more projects with higher price tags and passing on the smaller ones with less pay. Overall, that leaves me with more time to spend on the website and to spend on writing. "The Nineteenth Year" is all but finished and "The Magic Behind the Magic" is close as well. I've also got an idea for another story that I'm playing with. So things are pretty good right now.
    The volume of traffic to the site continues to amaze me. Over 60 thousand hits last month alone. Wow! I am humbled by your patronage.
   One last thing ... the Movie section seems to be making a hit! So if you've seen a gay themed movie you really like, let me know about it.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 - 12:20AM with cloudy skies and 75 degrees
    I took a road trip this last Saturday up to Black Mountain Campground at the base of Mount Mitchell. The purpose of my trip was to visit the place that I had scattered the ashes of my best friend, Mike. He died of cancer and it was up to me to spread his ashes, per his request. Well, I got there, after a 2 hour drive, and found the road to the area I wanted to visit had been washed out by Hurricane Ivan two years ago. At first, I was flabbergasted. First, because it has been so long since I had visited. Second, because there was no way I was gonna make it. It was 58 degrees and I was dressed in shorts, a tee shit and tennis shoes.
    I can't remember if I told about the whole experience, but I poured his ashes into the South Toe River at the campsite where we last camped, just two short months before he died. Prior to the "spreading of the ashes" I collected a number of rocks from the river. They were imbedded with mica, which makes them shine in the sunlight. Before making the trip, I pocketed one of those stones intent on replacing it in the river in memory of Mike.
    It's a good thing I only intended on making it a day trip and not an overnight. The only way to get up the road was by foot. Can you imagine me carrying two large campboxes, a slew of wood and three coolers for 3 miles? Not gonna happen. So I plan to revisit Black Mountain in the near future with a day pack and hiking boots.
    Why do I tell this story? Today is Mike's birthday. He was my best friend for almost 4 decades and I miss him so very much!

Monday, January 9, 2006 - 8:30PM with mostly clear skies and 51 degrees
    Well here I am fresh back from a trip to the Florida Keys and fighting all the stuff that piled up in my absence. Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it to go in the first place. Ever heard this saying: "It's nice to go, but it's even better to get back."
    There's something about the beginning of a new year that makes you feel like someone wiped all the crap from the slate and gave you a fresh start. It's a nice feeling to have. I just can't wait for it to kick in!
    There are so many things I'd like to comment on, but I would have to get out my soap box and scream at the ineptitude of the current government administration, so I'll spare you the ranting and raving. I will remind you that when it comes time to vote, be sure and do it.
    I've been a bit lax in making entries here and I hope to be a bit better about it this year (hint, hint: New Year's Resolution) and to be a bit more diligent about making an effort to set aside some time each day to write (hint, hint: another New Year's Resolution). The authors that are currently hosted here are doing a great job of updating. That's generated a lot of interest in the site recently. Hits and way back up and I thank you for your patronage.
    Gotta get back to updating the site. Jeez! Changing all those 2005's to 2006's on the copyright line is a pain in the ass! :)

1 January 2016

Happy New Year!!